Parental Guidance

Don't we all love success stories? Steve Jobs, Oprah, Reginald F. Lewis...who else can you think of who had gone past early adversities and turned their lives around to yield magnanimous and amazing results?

I only have to look into the stories of my own parents to be inspired: My mother moved to the U.S. when she was 33 with NOTHING. Sure, she had a bit of money left earned from back home, but that was it. I am guessing it was probably only enough to last her a couple of weeks. No trust fund, no credit card, no working papers. Yet, she made it work. She's written her success story on her own terms, and she simply had an attitude and work ethic that wouldn't quit—seven-day workweeks, multiple jobs, even odd jobs. Fast-forward 17 years, she's fit, fabulous, and doing well, in career and in life. True, she's not the mega-millionaire I'm sure she'd be happy to be, but she's in a good place. (Plus, she's running her first 5k race this weekend!)

My father, on the other hand, lost everything he had—the bookstores he'd worked hard to put up in our hometown—to the calamity that was the Mt. Pinatubo eruption of '91. He and my mother had to start out from scratch by adding to my grandparents' mini-grocery business at the market. They would wake up at 3am to open shop, barely having gotten enough sleep from their bedtime of 12 midnight or so. Eventually, when Mama moved to the U.S. to seek greener pastures (and I guess to escape the grueling market schedule and stress surrounding the events succeeding Pinatubo), my dad moved to Manila to, again, restart a new career as a newspaper reporter. He practically worked as a volunteer, until management took note of his talent and dedication (he literally LIVED in the office in a small room with a bunk bed he shared with other reporters) and he zoomed past the tiers of the masthead and reached a high position that paid him well and gave him quarterly bonuses. Now, Papa is retired and has a thriving eBay business selling rare stamps to an international clientele. Again, he's not the mega-millionaire I'm sure he'd be happy to be, but he's in a good place.

The two experiences above perhaps explain and provide a better understanding on why I literally get stressed out and bothered when faced with a situation wherein a person who has the brains, background, talent, and skills to move forward and succeed gives up prematurely and concedes defeat so early on—without putting up a fight, logging in the hours, exhausting one's all. It's a challenge for me to bear witness to these moments knowing that life is full of stories of individuals who simply made it work amidst hurdles and challenges that, at first glance, were seemingly impossible to conquer.

On Affirmations

In the movie, Sunshine Cleaning, actress Amy Adams looks at the bright (and clean) side.

I've come across the concept of saying affirmations over the years, but haven't really consistently enacted the habit in my life. I also noticed how in movies, people who do them are portrayed in a cooky kind of way (e.g. Amy Adams in Sunshine Cleaning) and are in situations that don't necessarily immediately reflect the words they repeat to themselves.

However, every now and then, I write notes to myself and tack them on the wall, but they're usually goal and career-related, hardly ever, "I'm a rockstar, I'm gorgeous!" The most vivid that I do remember and one (or two) that had quite an impact in my work life was one I'd written back in 2002 and put up on the wall near my bed. It listed the following words:

editorial assistant
lifestyle and fitness assistant
beauty and fitness editor

In between the lines were arrows that mimicked a flow chart of sorts. This note reflected the trajectory I wanted my career to go. I had a goal of being an editor at 24—which was two or three years from the time I'd posted the note.

Another one on the wall read (from what I can remember):
"I am a good and talented makeup artist."

This resulted from an early experience as a freelance makeup artist when I'd encountered doubts about my talent; an incident wherein a starlet-then-model completely mocked the bright lime green eyeshadow I put on her. The green was actually the makeup theme given by the director of the fashion show and I was simply following directions, and picking up from a beauty forecast I'd read in Elle that time (that green was going to be the big thing that year/season in eyeshadow).

Anyway, suffice it to say that I've enjoyed a fun, engaging, and exciting beauty career on both counts as an editor and makeup artist. The makeup part has been on the backburner for quite some time now, but recent events and opportunities have again piqued my interest. So let's see how that goes.

The point of this post being, I wanted to share with you an affirmation I'd actually verbalized the other night, part of a string of messages that also included the "I'm fabulous" kind which I shall keep to myself:

"I will not put up with bad behavior."

It's so simple, straightforward, and encompassing. It's applicable to work, friendships, and relationships. And from there stems all the other facets of affirmations such as feeling confident, having clarity and conviction, and so forth.


Image courtesy of Indiewire.com.

24 Hours

I seem to be on a career-writing groove these days. I've just read the blog post, "How Many Hours Are There in a Day" by speaker, author, and "employment specialist" Jay Block. I'd like to copy and paste the whole post, but instead you can read it here. Meanwhile, here are some snippets that called out to me and I hope are quite helpful to you:

“Do you know that the ONLY DIFFERENCE between a happy, successful, and financially independent person and an unhappy, unsuccessful, and financially broke person is what they do in their 24 hours? You see, it’s not hard to figure out that rich, successful, happy, and influential people do not read the same things as those who are struggling just to make it through the day.”

“It’s not hard to figure out that rich, successful, happy, and influential people do not watch six hours of television a day, do not allow themselves to be influenced by the media or voices that thrive on negativity and pessimism, and do not allow themselves to give up on their dreams, expectations, and goals; while underachievers and life strugglers always seem to settle for less and blame everyone but themselves for their misery and despair.”

“It’s not where we were born, what our childhood was like, our education, or our environment that determines our success and happiness. What determines success is our inner drive, our commitment to our values and our dreams, and how we integrate that into the 24 hours a day we have.”

In the rest of the post, Block outlines eight tips that help maximize the 24 hours we're all given. They're spot-on, no-frills, and neatly worded.

My Own (Legal) Advice

This was so much fun to watch! And remember the early 90's movie, Green Card, starring Andie MacDowell and Gérard Depardieu?

Earlier this afternoon the paralegal from the lawyer's office called, asking for my birth certificate. I'm in the process of renewing my green card, which expires every 10 years (only the card itself expires, not the permanent resident status, FYI). It's routine paperwork, but with immigration, you never know. Fortunately, I've kept a scan of the document on my computer so I immediately dashed home to get to it and send it over.

Now, remember how I said before that I would never want to live in New York City again, and then eating my words by moving back? (No regrets, by the way) Also, haven't I been heralding more than ever the importance of staying positive? The universe has a sense of humor, I believe. It occurred to me on the way home that I do have to follow my own advice.

And, I'm not having difficulty doing so. I know that whatever time I have and am given to be here, is the perfect amount of time that I have to be here. If it's until next year, it's until next year; if it's another 10 years, then it's another 10 years. It's as simple as that. I've always let God hold the steering wheel of my life. I've kept this quote on my phone that goes, "A man plans his way, but God directs his steps." The note says it's from Proverbs. I must have picked it up from a homily at mass.

Now, funny when I was thinking about the possibility of no longer getting to live here in New York City, or Denver, or in any city in America down the line, my foremost concern was that I now really, really had to make the most out of my trips to Whole Foods, Trader Joe's, Maoz Falafel, Lobster Shack, Tokyo-san Bowl, Serafina, the taco trucks, Halal food stalls...and all the palate-pleasing opportunities this country has to offer!

Image courtesy of http://moviejunkieonline.com.

UPDATE 10/12/10: My new (renewed) green card is here! So, onto this American journey.

3 Best Career Tips: Straightforward & Straight Up

Look up and smile: It's going to be a fun and exciting ride.

Summing up all the career articles I've been reading for about a year now, plus personal experience on the tricky and nuanced world of career planning and jobhunting, it would be the following:

1. Be proactive.
2. Ask for help.
3. Follow up

Let me elaborate:

1. Be proactive
Looking for a new job, eyeing a new career, or simply considering changes in your current work situation starts with a DECISION and a MINDSET. You have to prep your mind, body, and heart to attract new opportunities, and be willing to do the paperwork and logistics to make that happen. It also helps to have a positive attitude. If you start thinking defeat when you haven't even started, you might as well stay exactly where you are.

In the span of two (or three) years, I've submitted many many emails and résumé packets containing clips and many many permutations of a cover letter. Some, with the help of former colleagues, and a bigger percentage, simply by looking at mastheads and articles. Some have resulted in actual meetings, some have emailed back with their regrets, and majority have not even bothered to get back to me.

Should you be disheartened by this, or in any form of rejection? No. The process of updating your CV, printing letters, sending them out, puts you in that mode wherein you become extra-receptive to opportunity. So when that coveted moment comes, you're alert, awake, and ready to grab it—quickly!—versus sulking and wondering why no one has called you back yet.


2. Ask for help

And when you do, strive to be specific. An example I've read that perfectly illustrates this is paraphrased as follows: If you have the option to pass along your résumé to a faceless HR person or massive and countless online job boards, versus targeting a SPECIFIC person with a clear title and influence in an organization, why wouldn't you go for the latter? And, if you know someone who knows someone who knows that particular someone, then by all means ask for a little nudge to get your toe in the door. What have you got to lose? What's the worst thing that could happen? Rejection. See #1.


3. Follow up.

After you've asked for someone to point you towards the direction of an influential person, it's now ENTIRELY up to you to do the work. You have to walk the walk, talk the talk, do the phone calls, send handwritten notes, WHATEVER it takes to capitalize on that initial push. Make it worth everyone's time. And, at this point, it's your obligation to not make the person who recommended you make a fool out of her/himself by being flaky or unreliable.

Of all three tips, this is the one I'm guilty of not following through 100%. True, I'm proactive. True, I don't hesitate to be kapalmuks [thick-skinned] to people I barely know and I don't hesitate asking friends and former colleagues for names, email addresses, and even simply putting it out there, to "stay on your radar." But following up? This is perhaps the most challenging part—because more than anything, life gets in the way: there are other emails to answer (on a side note, try to answer EVERY email you receive. I know that's like shooting for the moon, but it helps to set the bar high), Facebook messages to respond to, chores, laundry, D.I.Y. pedicures… Here is where it's best to be organized about the whole process. How organized? Think: Excel sheets, checklists, calendars, written plans…whatever will help remind you that you've promised to touch-base and finally send that application in.

When I moved back to NYC this year, I'd asked a former boss to help forward along an email I'd planned to send to an editor-in-chief of an inflight magazine. I charted the names and dates relating to the emails that ensued, and made sure I kept in touch, and saw the conversation through and through. I didn't get a job at that particular office, but, sending that first email started the ball rolling that resulted in 28 other people I'd contacted. That's a small number compared to the 100 I'd aimed for, but more importantly, I know that I can always pick up that initial email exchange down the line and send a "refresher" hello to whomever was in the loop, in the event I have to be on job-hunt mode again. Even better, I have an Excel sheet to go back to and add to (I only hope not in the near future!).

On the flip side, don't be desperate. Desperation tends to repel people. This advice was given to me by Ok! Mag EIC Frances Sales right at the beginning stages of this year's jobhunt. I know it's a delicate mix and balance of being thorough and diligent, versus being makulit [annoying/repetitive]. Here's the gist of what Frances said:

"Mariel, just be chill. Sometimes you give off this vibe that you're nervous and eager to please. I will tell you about Steve Carrell, who found success when he was 40. He said, 'I immediately started getting more work when I became a father. I just auditioned differently. When you audition and you really need the part, a producer or a casting director can smell desperation. It is an immediate turn-off and you probably won’t get cast. But if there is a confidence, not an arrogance, but a sort of nonchalance about it [...] you get it.'"

Frances pointed out: "It's the same with all jobs: people like happy relaxed people especially in a bad economy because they want that energy."


All of that said, I never hesitate on helping people, unless I sense a lack of conviction and desire…or find an inclination to want to be spoonfed. Actually, the spoon-feeding part isn't that big of a deal as I don't mind sharing and passing these tidbits along (i.e. pay it forward). I actually put more weight on being positive and proactive. You have to want something really bad, decide you want it, and get up and start moving. It's not up to me to boost your morale (although I'd be happy to point out your good qualities and give a pep talk every now and then); that is a decision you and only you can make for yourself.

And when you become successful, please don't forget me. I am happiest with a bar of ridiculously good premium chocolate.

Image courtesy of Andrews University.

RELATED CAREER POSTS:
A Reason for Every Setback
No-nonsense Career Advice

Thank you, Seventeen

More and more, everyday, I recognize and realize how unique the working circumstances I'd had back at my first job in Seventeen. Along with the friendships that have stood the test of time (10 years!), the life lessons and work attitude I'd picked up along the way have proven to be invaluable. The funny thing is, it never even occurred to me that that training I received was quite the exception more than the norm. My first boss, Maya Calica, was exemplary in a way that she inspired and encouraged us to go for our goals and dream, DREAM big (even bigger, biggest…). We were all encouraged to verbalize what direction we wanted our careers to go, all the while putting a premium on quality work and an unwavering positive outlook.

So to Maya, Fran, Tata, Lille, Maddy, Anne, Monica, Margie, Mia, and everyone who made a Seventeen difference in my life, thank you for the experience of a lifetime.

Image courtesy of Whosdatedwho.com.

5 Before Hopefully Not 35

I want to write about this wedding, do a blog redesign...and more!

As much as I'm thrilled by all the recent developments in my career, I tend to beat myself up over personal goals, deadlines, and projects that I am aching, aching to tick off my checklist. Inspired by the blog, 25 Before 25, published by also a writer and editor I'd recently befriended, here are my 5 before I'm hoping way before I turn 35 (I'm only 30, folks!).

1. Redesign NyMinuteNow.com, featuring a more streamlined template with plenty of white space to keep things sleek, pristine, and easy on the eyes. (If you have absolutely bug-free suggestions, let me know! Again, no bugs; I need something plug-and-play with HTML I can still modify. Sorry, no CSS for me AND DO NOT even mention Wordpress; the latter is NOT an option. Case closed. I've written about that issue here.)

2. Migrate this current version to its backup Blogspot address, for people who like this design, also for myself, when I get melancholic...or in case I change my mind about the new one.

3. Repost my Yummy.ph articles and recipes because the site did a redesign and the bloggers' pages are gone(!). Anyway I desperately need to take care of my AllMySugar blog too! (Oh, why do I do this to myself?)

4. Finish rewriting and editing my chick-lit novel. Sigh...

5. Do a Wedding Series here, because I have at least five wedding-related posts brewing that I haven't gotten around uploading. Plus, I'd recently started contributing to Summit Media's relatively new venture BridalBook.ph. I've accepted that I've happily jumped into the big-day bandwagon. Now that I'm married, it's a different kind of excitement and delight when I hear of other people's engagements, or, in the case of a recent wedding I'd attended, being a guest.

I'm sure there's more than the above, but for now I'm keeping it to five so as not to get ahead of myself!